finding the present moment
Using mindfulness to step back from worry
(and other unhelpful thoughts)
Now that we’ve noticed, we’re in a really powerful position. We get to make a choice. We get to choose what to do next. Our aim is to make the best choice we can in the moment, once we’ve taken in all that information.
It’s at this point that we get to choose: do I want to listen and engage with this thought? Is it helpful to me to keep entertaining these thoughts in my head? Or continue to be in this situation?
If the answer is no, we get to step back from the thought (I like to think of this as quite literally stepping back) and refocus our attention on taking meaningful action. If I decide that thinking my previous thoughts were not very helpful to me - if I notice they are creating fear and worry, I can choose to step back and focus all my attention on an alternative task - making dinner, getting back to work, talking with a loved one. This is coming back into the present moment. We get to make this choice all the time, any time.
However, the trick is to turn your full attention to this new task. And that is hard! So practice diligently. Once we choose an activity, if we do it half-heartedly going through the motions but continue to focus on our worry thoughts, our worry thoughts will stick around. Try as best to glue yourself to the present moment. And each time you notice you’ve become unstuck from the present, stick yourself back to it again. And again. And again. (It will happen alot that we get interrupted by our thoughts and our attention wanders, know that this is normal. With time and with practice this will become easier, although it will likely be a life long journey for all of us).
Now, if there’s a genuine problem that needs to be solved in your thoughts - then we can observe and still take a step back from the emotion, from the catastrophic thought, and come into the facts. Observe the emotion from the space of watching (not becoming the emotion), make space for it, and make space for genuine problem solving. With your full attention. However, if you’re going round in circles, this may be a clue that now is not the right time to solve the problem. Put it down, come back to it later, ask others for their ideas. Perhaps it’s not solvable right now.
Before you move on, this is a really important point: By aiming to fully connect with the present moment we’re not trying to avoid our thoughts or emotions here. We’re not trying to push them away, we are noticing them, observing them, making space for them, exploring them with curiosity, and then we are making a choice about what we want to do next. Sometimes we might feel the best thing we can do is to spend longer with these feelings, to allow ourselves to feel them more fully - allowing ourselves to grieve for the uncertainty. But if we fuse here with the emotion, with the thoughts, we are unlikely to continue being effective - to be doing what helps us live a rich meaningful life.
The Practice:
Throw yourself into the moment, become one with the moment! Now is where our lives happen! If we spend all our time thinking about the past or the future, we miss out on what is happening in front of us. And, the present moment is where joy can be found. So, move your body, feel what’s in your hands, jump all the way in to whatever you’re doing right now!