becoming the observer
Using mindfulness to step back from worry
(and other unhelpful thoughts)
Why observe? Can’t we just skip straight to moving on with our lives?! Well, I’m guessing you’ve already tried that? Tried to keep yourself busy, avoid your thoughts, avoid emotions and the signals your body is sending you… and how’s that been working out? Now, again, I don’t mean to sound insensitive. I promise, I’m writing these words with love. But I’m also guessing that avoiding, pushing away, battling against thoughts hasn’t worked all that well. Because usually it doesn’t. Often what happens is that this process takes a lot of energy, and, naturally, we eventually get tired, we drop our guard. And BOOM the thought(s) we’ve been avoiding come back and hit us in the face! If we can observe and acknowledge our thoughts, feelings and sensations before we move onto the next step, we can use this information to inform our choices and we might just find that the next time a wave of emotion hits, it might be a little less strong, we might be able to step into observing a little sooner, we might be able to move in to participating a little more freely. Again, this takes time and practice.
Allowing space and opening up to whatever is going on - both inside and outside of you - gives us access to more information - we can be more than our thoughts. Our thoughts may be present, but so are many other things - sensations, sights, smells, tastes, sounds. Sometimes we may be so focused on just one aspect of our experience that we forget about all the other parts. This can happen particularly with our ‘hot thoughts’ - these are the powerful ones that lead to strong emotions. We become fused with them, like magnets sticking together. So much so that we forget that we are not our thoughts. By observing a thought we can notice that we are having or experincing a thought, but that actually, we are not the thought. Any thought is just one part of our current experience.
We can bring this quality of observing to any and every part of our experience. Including our emotions. To observe or watch our emotions, thoughts etc without fusing with them. Through this practice of observing we can allow thoughts and emotions to be present, and still continue with life. We can say to ourselves, ‘oh, here is worry showing up in my body’ and continue to build the life we want - in this moment.
So, acknowledge your feelings: what ever it is in this moment that is your experience, it’s ok. It’s ok to have the feeling, and it’s ok to connect with it - to touch it, observe it.
The Practice:
Use the recording above or use some of these ways to practice obsering:
See if you can observe what is happening around you and what is happening inside you. Try to notice emotions, thoughts, body sensations. Notice as much as you can, while trying not to add any commentary on top, do your best to just notice, watch, or observe what’s going on, without judgment.
Notice inside, outside. Notice thoughts, notice and emotions that may be showing up for you right now. Notice that there is a part of you that is doing this noticing. A part of you that is feeling an emotion, but a part of you that is still okay, safe, still and present. Witnessing your experience.
First, notice. Find the part of you that is the observer. Pause. Come into your body. Notice what’s happening in your body.
You may also like to NOTICE when your mind tries to hook you with ‘hot’ or difficult thoughts and notice any times that you don’t take the bait.