without judgement
Using mindfulness to step back from worry
(and other unhelpful thoughts)
Does your mind try to beat you up sometimes? Mine does.
“You shouldn’t be feeling this way. It’s not a big deal, everyone’s going through the same thing, I should be able to manage this. I shouldn’t let this get to me so much. I’m weak, I’m a bad person… “
Sound familiar? Add in whatever other stuff your brain throws at you.
Remember when we talked about thoughts? And the fact that your thoughts are not facts? Right. So these thoughts aren’t facts either. And the great news: we already know how to manage them. Observe them - notice them and say to yourself ‘I’ve had the thought that …’ or say ‘gee, thanks brain, I already know that story - you’ve told me that before’… and then make a conscious choice about where you’re going to put your attention.
I know, you might be thinking ‘well that’s easy for you to say’. And to that, I say: give it a go! What do you have to lose? Now, you won’t notice every time these thoughts start coming up. So again, don’t beat yourself up about it! Give yourself a pat on the back every time you do notice these thoughts! Choose to put your attention on to the noticing - not on to all the times you didn’t notice.
We don’t need to add any extra suffering to your current experience. So if you’re experiencing an emotion, a situation, etc. and you’re tempted to label it as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or to throw a ‘should’ in, notice that this is judging.
As best you can, notice every time ‘should’ comes up in your thinking. Take a long slow breath. Observe the thought, feelings, sensations in your body, observe what’s happening around you. Take another long slow breath. Make an informed, conscious, decision about where you choose to place your attention in this moment.
The practice:
As best you can, notice every time ‘should’ comes up in your thinking. Take a long slow breath. Observe the thought, feelings, sensations in your body, observe what’s happening around you. Take another long slow breath. Make an informed, conscious, decision about where you choose to place your attention in this moment.