a note on worry…
AND what to do about it
Why worry feels good:
Now here’s the part where you go: ‘Yeah but if I worry about all these things I feel like I’m taking it seriously’ or ‘being productive’ or something along those lines. Here’s the thing… when was the last time you ‘solved’ a problem by worrying about it? If you solved the problem - it sounds like helpful worry! If you didn’t solve the problem… well we’re straying into the territory of unhelpful worry. When we can’t control or dismiss our worries, this might be a sign they’re becoming problematic. Perhaps they’re getting in the way of us getting other things done, or just taking up way too much brain space!
When we worry, this is our brain trying to solve a problem - usually a negative event we predict will happen in the future. The key words there: negative, predict, future. Ah hem… crystal ball?
““If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.””
And what to do about it:
First of all, STOP unnecessarily triggering the worry. Be mindful about the ‘information’ you are exposing yourself too. Be mindful (read: reduce) use of social media, if you have particular friends sharing unhelpful posts, temporarily block them, stay away from sensationalist newspapers and channels. Choose to get your news from a reputable source and please STOP constantly checking for updates! If you must, limit yourself to one daily news bulletin. These are designed to give you a summary of the day’s events, but do choose wisely. Again, choose a news source that is likely to give you the facts rather than sensationalist media which is designed to grab your attention, create fear and keep people watching (or buying newspapers).
Dedicated worry time: yup! This is a genuine strategy. Choose a place, time and duration (e.g. 8pm, 15 mins on the balcony)
These wise words are from the Dali Lama:
““If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.” ”
The practice:
Schedule worry time daily. Make a brief note of worries as they come up during the day, then take your notebook at your allocated time and worry away! But be sure to set a timer, and once the allocated time is up, you can start a new list for tomorrow.
What do you notice about your worries?
Are they the same ones coming up over, and over again?